planning frenzy

well any earlier posts about not enjoying wedding planning... well... are pretty moot now. i guess the only way to actually start liking the planning crap is to decide on a venue. any brainstorming you do before that tends to be all over the damn place and you feel like you can't nail ANYTHING down. well, pick a venue, stupid! (i wish someone told me that a loooong time ago.) i had the pleasure of looking at a venue last weekend with roomie s, and totally nailed it. now (since last weekend) i have had a flurry of awesome ideas that are actually starting to come together! wha? so this is what it's like. i totally get it now. tally ho, pip pip!

my goal in life

is to learn to sing the lyrics to R.E.M.'s song "it's the end of the world as we know it" and sing it at karaoke. one day..... i will conquer.

creeping closer

the days are starting to creep on, getting closer to when i get to pick matty up and drive him to a home he hasn't seen in months. i can't help but have these crazy daydreaming spells of what life will be like when he gets back. it's like i am a child again, thinking about "growing up" and having big people tea parties and big people dreams. i want to dance in the living room. i want to hike to the top of a mountain. i want to wake up on a saturday with nothing to do. this weekend was full of no plans. it was the first weekend i was actually home in what seems like a forever. it was a lot of good times with friends. unplanned memories that i will never forget. it is weekends like that, that make me realize that i have the most awesome people in my life. i have so many people i can lean on if i need anything. and what is even more awesome, is that matty's friends are equally superb. it's like for the past twenty-something years we have both lived seperate lives, weeding out the suck and making the most fantastic friends and putting all this effort into making life just fucking grand. and then we meet and we both get to share the best people in the world. this weekend at home made me realize that alllllll that shit i went through, all the struggles, and doubt, and the times i thought that it wasn't worth it, that was all to get me right where i fucking am. and i couldn't be happier.