wacky watermelon, blastin' berry.

i have a problem with swallowing my gum. i don't know where it came from, or when it started. i do know that i do not set out with a piece of gum thinking, "oh man, i am going to chew you and chew you and you are going to end up in my stomach where it is dark. DARK i say, where i can savor your flavor forever and ever and that is the end! the end!" i do it on accident. i'll just be chewing a piece of gum, any gum, it doesn't have to be the super tasty bubble yum. and i just swallow it. and as soon as i do, i'm like, "shit! on to the depths of hell with you, GUM!" it's gross. i know. but it just sort of happens. i try to conciously spit it out before it happens, but i am not by a trash can every time. and i don't carry tissues. and i'll be damned if i spit it on the ground, because i absolutely hate hate HATE when i step in someones gum. so i keep chewing it. and then i end up swallowing it. but. but but BUT. last night at my game, i had gum. i had gum that i accidently swallowed right before the game started. and as i am silently cursing myself for swallowing yet another piece of gum, i burped. and my gum came flying out of my mouth and i caught it with my hand. nothing came out but the gum. and i caught it. WITH MY HAND. and then i decided to be proper and i ran and threw it in the trashcan. but, i caught it. as it propelled out of my mouth, i freakin' caught it.