bookake #2

well, i finished the cider house rules. it was good... a little bit of a low start, because it is a very large book. and large books scare me. so, i definitely really liked this book. and because i thought it was just so awesome, i rented the movie. and it pissed me off. i have never seen a book-turned-movie come out well. but this one left out some really key stuff. um, hello? MELONY THE MEAN GIRL! now i feel that it's ok to dislike tobey maguire a little bit more. so, suck it tobey maguire.

i started reading the last song by nicholas sparks, and i am also reading animal farm by george orwell. i have read animal farm before, and it is so damn short i suggest everyone in the universe read it also. if you haven't yet. because it's a neat book. and because i said so.

a little bit of home every day

well. i have made it through another day. trying to just keep on keeping on. i am going to try to write matty a letter every day. maybe not every SINGLE day. but close. i figure if a letter is his little bit of home, i can take the time out to send him a little something. because i can picture him looking at an envelope with my return address and seeing him smile. and i want to picture that smile every day. and i know it is going to be a big one when he gets the card i sent yesterday with the giant wiener i drew inside. love!

today

is a little better. woke up freezing my toes off, but it is still a little better.

going to try to tackle all of the errands i have been putting off. which should be interesting. because that list of errands includes a trip to the MALL. and i can't tell you enough how much i hate the MALL and everything the MALL touches. i believe the MALL is equivalent, if not even worse, to stepping in a huge pile of dog crap. barefoot.

I ABSOLUTELY HATE THE MALL.

if i don't make it back, i love you all.

forever and always,

me.

checking in. or out.

the last few days have been extremely tough. after two other trips to base, only to be told to come back, today was the day. we woke up at 2:30 this morning to be at base by 4:30. matty finally got on the bus at 11. today i am in ruins, but tomorrow will be better. i told matty i wouldn't cry in front of him when he was leaving, and i didn't. i think it was better that way. i would have been a fucking wreck, otherwise. all i have to say is, my dude is the shit. i am one lucky lady. i'll leave you with his unit in formation, right before they boarded the bus.

too soon

matty and i have been on a whirlwind trip all week to see relatives of all kinds. the day is creeping too close, too soon. i can't believe he will be gone in two days. the overbearing sadness is coming and going, in unexpected waves at times that i am the least prepared. i am just trying to tell myself to be strong until after he is gone. i will have all the time in the world to be sad. how important it is to enjoy our time together while we can. at this point it is all that i can do.

he's on the nip again

so, i will not be around for the next week or so. maybe i'll post something if i get the chance, but matty has the week off, and so do i. i think this is the first time i have had more than 2 consecutive weekdays off in almost three years. so, we will be running around seeing family and taking care of bidness. hopefully the 6 months will go by as fast as the last two weeks have. tally ho, pip pip!

horn honking 101

i hate mean horn honkers. i do not hate horn honkers that do not abuse the horn priveledge. i hate mean horn honkers. i'll attempt to give some good examples of each:

nice horn honker - EGADS! someone is drifting into my lane and if i don't let them know soon, they will hit me! beep beep!
mean horn honker - oh golly. i want to get my boyfriends attention who is standing right outside my car. it is 10:30 at night, but i am really lazy so instead of just getting out of my car or perhaps rolling down the window to get his attention, i am just going to HONK and make him come back to the car. and keep HONKING. because he isn't coming fast enough. HONK HONK. oh, were you sleeping?

we have a neighbor that is a mean horn honker. either she is a.) a really big jerk that doesn't care that she has neighbors or b.) just an idiot that doesn't think things through. after witnessing the above mean horn honker example happen in real-time, i have kind of made it a point to discern if she is rude or just actually, an idiot.

i am now convinced she is guilty of the former. and i will tell you why. last night, i was laying in bed, minding my own business, reading my book. i heard someone honking their horn right out front. a lot. then i heard a screech... so, me being really nosy and into everyone else's business, i went out on the porch to check it out. the honking i heard, was someone trying to get the attention of the MEAN HORN HONKER. because why? well, the MEAN HORN HONKER WAS TOO LAZY TO PARK DOWN THE STREET, SO SHE JUST PARKED HER CAR WHERE SHE COULD AND BLOCKED THE ALLEY. yes the capslock is me yelling. YELLING! she parked and went inside her house. so, people were trying to get to their garage in the alley, but they couldn't. because of the lazy MEAN HORN HONKER. and this is not the first time she has parked there. i just didn't know that that was the MEAN HORN HONKER'S car the first time i saw it blocking the alley. so, she is not only rude, but an idiot. a rude idiot.

i feel better now.

PANTS!! and pizza!

it's all an illusion

on sunday, s, j and i went to the 99 cent store to get halloween decor and candy. i was really excited to be going somewhere. and j has sirius radio in his car, with 80's and 90's and all the good stuff. it was something serious. we were on the way back, and there was a fire off in the distance. the sun looked pretty awesome through the smoke. but, something burned down for it to look like this. i still haven't figured out what it was.

did i mention most of the pictures on here are taken with a crappy cell phone camera? as though you couldn't tell....

early bird without the worm

so, matt may be leaving a little earlier than planned. about a week earlier. we have been trying to figure out everything we need to do before he goes, who we need to go see, etc. which means lots of driving. have i ever mentioned i hate being in the car? these last few weeks have been so stressful and so emotional, and it is really hard to deal with when we are together. we want to make the best of the time we have left, but it is hard to push the stress and worries to the backburner. to push it to the back of my mind so i can deal with it when he goes is one of the hardest things i've had to do. i don't want him to remember his last weeks at home as completely miserable. so that is what i have to keep telling myself. i can deal with my feelings on my own time. for now, let there be taco bell, and lots of it. because that's what he wants. and i am ok with that. who doesn't love a bean burrito with a side of nacho cheese?

lunch on a sunday.

with a stella. the only way it would be better is if matty was here. except he wouldn't eat this. i would make him a hot pocket or two.

get the feng shui outta my face

i have been having a really hard time sleeping. i have chalked it up to nerves, since my troubles started when matty left. but, with him coming home tonight, and my obsessive keeping busy phase, i have been cleaning (purging) my room of all the crap i have accumulated over the years. you can catch up on that in my "goodwilling" post. anyways, last night i conquered my closet. and, as i realized i was able to finally close the closet door for the first time in months, i remembered a little tidbit i read about how sleeping with the closet door open is completely un-feng shui. closing the closet door "allows for the best and most nourishing flow of energy to strengthen your health." feng shui that. so, i did it. i slept with the closet door shut. and had the best sleep i've had in a really, really long time.

one month

today it has been one month since i quit smoking cigarettes. i cheated one time, but it was not a whole one. and, i was pretty inebriated, and i don't remember doing it. so it isn't going to count as cheating. because i don't remember it and because i said so. and because i quit on 9/9/09 and i want to keep that date. take that, interwebs.

through the grapevine...

i have just gotten wind that matty will be off tomorrow evening for two whole days. to say i am OHMYGOSHSOEXCITED!!! is an understatement. i am exuberant? sounds good. and he will be able to go to pizza and beers with all of us on friday. not some, but ALL of us. life is good. LIFE IS GOOD! LIFE IS GOOD!!!!!

on another note. i think a mosquito just bit me on the lip. it be itchin'.

bookkake

i like to read. so i am going to let you know what i am reading. current read: the cider house rules by john irving. recommended by BOB! no, i have not seen the movie. maybe i will once i finish the book, but to date i have not seen it. nor am i a big fan of tobey maguire. enough said.

growing up is hard to do

when you start to grow up, have children, set goals, save for retirement... etc. it can be hard. it can be hard to let go of those young, fun, hip times you spent hanging out with your friends, drinking until 2 am, sleeping in until 2 pm. but there are things to look forward to. like watching your children grow up, instilling in them the knowledge you have attained. financial stability. achieving your goals. hello kitty owie ice packs. the list never ends.

at last!

listening to duke ellington makes me want to clean my bedroom. i don't know why, and i don't ask questions. i just do. GO DUKE!

wacky watermelon, blastin' berry.

i have a problem with swallowing my gum. i don't know where it came from, or when it started. i do know that i do not set out with a piece of gum thinking, "oh man, i am going to chew you and chew you and you are going to end up in my stomach where it is dark. DARK i say, where i can savor your flavor forever and ever and that is the end! the end!" i do it on accident. i'll just be chewing a piece of gum, any gum, it doesn't have to be the super tasty bubble yum. and i just swallow it. and as soon as i do, i'm like, "shit! on to the depths of hell with you, GUM!" it's gross. i know. but it just sort of happens. i try to conciously spit it out before it happens, but i am not by a trash can every time. and i don't carry tissues. and i'll be damned if i spit it on the ground, because i absolutely hate hate HATE when i step in someones gum. so i keep chewing it. and then i end up swallowing it. but. but but BUT. last night at my game, i had gum. i had gum that i accidently swallowed right before the game started. and as i am silently cursing myself for swallowing yet another piece of gum, i burped. and my gum came flying out of my mouth and i caught it with my hand. nothing came out but the gum. and i caught it. WITH MY HAND. and then i decided to be proper and i ran and threw it in the trashcan. but, i caught it. as it propelled out of my mouth, i freakin' caught it.

rainbow sampler.

on saturday i went to rock bottom with my buddies. poor guys had just gotten up, and i had been awake and antsy for three hours prior. i think my energy level was a little out of control. i couldn't help it. i was excited. to be AWAKE! and OUT! doing THINGS! and drinking SAMPLES! in RAINBOW FASHION! GOOD TIMES!

another monday.

one week. one more week until matt is done with twentynine palms. part of me can't believe it has already been a month that we have spent apart. part of me wants to believe that "oh, i got this" when he leaves for 6. but i know it isn't going to be like that. with the winter coming, and fall well well on it's way in, i lay awake thinking about this separation that is going to so soon consume our life together. i will not have my person to call when something exciting happens, or when shit hits the fan at work and i am having a meltdown and i need my one to calm me down. i won't be next to him when it is 20 degrees in the old ass apartment and the only thing that will keep you warm is body heat. how are we supposed to fit in all of the shit we have to do in his ten days off before he leaves? this is what i think about when i try to sleep, knowing that the morning will be coming all too soon. the only thing that i have that works is thinking about what life will be like when he gets back. i will finally be able to wake up next to him. every day. matt and i have never lived together. all i want is to be able to make him breakfast in bed whenever i want. and fight for the bathroom. and get mad because he put my shirt in the dryer that wasn't supposed to go in there. i want to make him pick up his socks that he left in the living room and laugh at him because he wants hot pockets for dinner. again. for the 3rd night in a row. is this too much to ask?

finally friday.

i have been sick this week with a cold. i hope i can kick it before matty gets out of twentynine palms. i don't really have anything exciting that has happened, i haven't been doing anything but watching movies in bed. so, i'll leave you with this picture of buster's balls. they are pretty bald because he licks them obsessively. the photo didn't come out as well as i had hoped. i think buster knew i was going to exploit his private parts on the interwebs so he wouldn't hold still.